On occassion even the best patient succomb to depression I learned this myself not too long ago during a huge emotional blow up in front of some friends. It was quite embarrassing, I mean my friends understood it was the testosterone and corticosteroids, but still I can’t stand acting so childish. However they understood and luckily for me all was well after I calmed down and apologized for my explosion.
Honestly I’m not normally snappy but that’s how medication can change someone in an instant. Especially steroids and specifically the testosterone can certainly make one quite amped up for no reason. Prednisone is another drug that can cause great stress and immense physical changes. I went from a size 32 jean to size 42 or more which understandably made me upset both about having to purchase a new wardrobe and the fact that it all goes straight to your gut. I eat maybe 1 meal a day, vomit every day many many times, and yet I still look obese and have gained weight! I didn’t think that was possible but that’s what 80mg of prednisone for over 6 months will do to a person.
What has helped a lot with my emotions recently has been the help of psychologist Dawn Buse of the Montefiore Medical Center who specializes in understanding headache disorders! SHe has been an invaluable resource who I met for the first time in person at the New York Pain Society Summit, and who made room for me as a patient when she wasn’t taking any new ones. This made me feel respected and like someone genuinely wants to help me unravel this knot in my brain.Secondly I recently won Rookie of the year through WEGO Health’s Health Activist Awards which made me feel spectacular because now I get to do what I want. I honestly get to go speak telling my story around the country and raising awareness both at the public and corporate levels. I’ve also begun working on my books a whole lot more which should raise my credibility and presence in the activism world. I hope all goes well as I continue my daily chemotherapy and write away working on all 5 of my future books and maybe an eBook as well!
I hope you all have a pain free day and this motivates you to get something difficult done whilst chronically ill.