Optimism

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This pain enthralls my brain quite thoroughly as I try to make it through this night without vomiting my meals away in vain always vomiting sometimes even the blood that should be flowing through my veins it seems nobody can stop these migraines due to the complicating autoimmune disease that I somehow retain though the cause and how you get it is unknown Churg Strauss has taken up the throne inside my body contorting it and causing my great pain daily a better antagonist one couldn’t find if they tried this disease mocks me with its rashes every day reminding me I’m in the terminal stage of this illness and that it could kill with each passing day what will it take to get this nightmare to go away? Do I need to be more patient am I insane? Is it normal for someone to endure so much pain to lose their ability to walk with a can and be forced into a walker, soon to be a wheelchair at this rate, the cost of failure to get remission is simply too great.

I aspire to complete many a great project who knows how successful ill be my mind is constantly filled with wondrous ideas, things normal people see as the future I see as my job I can bring these things to reality its a gift from the migraines. They let me see mistakes others have made were often they’d be so subtle nobody might notice so in some terms I have to thank my illness for making me old and wise mentally early on in life it’s an amazing gift. Soon I hope to be free of it and on to my real aspiration not writing these simple books I cannot stand being a failure even if I die early my name will be remembered through hard work and optimism.

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