Confidence

I reminded myself in a confident email to my psychiatrist about just how amazing those of us with chronic pain really are. I mean I haven’t been grocery shopping in over a year maybe two with my Mother. Yet yesterday even after a skin and tissue biopsy of my leg with it sewn shut I managed to go to BJ’s wholesale with my mother and buy a new computer monitor for my little brother as well as

However getting my brother that monitor after rebuilding a whole PC for him from scratch, yes I’ve been building PC’s since age 14 it’s quite easy, was not my only reason for going. I wanted to participate in daily life again, so I held on to the cart to use as a walker and braved the crowds, noise, and light that is our world today. The only bad thing about this experience was the lack of people even replying to me when I would say “excuse me”, “please”, or “thank you”. They’d look at me like I had 3 heads, where have manners gone in this country?!I would hope people’s family would teach them how to act politely in public and not like a hurried jackass bumping into a disabled man who clearly cannot walk fast and not even bothering to say sorry that happened more often than I’d like to say.

Anyway I did a lot for my Mother though she would’ve liked me to stay by the cart handles at all times I was helping to pile food into the cart as well. For the first time in months I chose what we’d be eating for dinner and in return my mom bought me pre-dry rubbed ribs which I enjoy often now at the local Chili’s restaurant. Heck I was even able to lift all the stuff out of the cart and onto the conveyor belt which brought the items to the salesperson. The staff was very kind and let me walk through with the cart to help load it after we explained I normally use a walker or wheelchair. Overall most people were very kind and accommodating. I just wanted to tell you this story to show what one can do when you put your mind to it I really  didn’t think I could do that for that long, going without any normal support, but my legs held up though I’m suffering for it today. But seriously how amazing is that after so long not doing something we can just get up one day and still be fully able to do something we haven’t done in years. The human body and how it works continues to thrill and thoroughly amaze me as I fight off these awful diseases and illnesses! I will be ok though especially since my fiance is coming to visit today, unfortunately she got sick from some food she ate after our engagement party.
Thank you for reading my short inspirational story of sorts! I really just want to inspire others to go out and try things they think or thought they could no longer accomplish. THis has inspired me to attempt model making and woodworking again soon! Should I succeed I have no doubt my life will be more joyful and far less depressing. It’s amazing what a man can create with a good dremel kit! Almost anything and so I will be working on wooden awareness items as my hands grow used to my dremel kit which I also plan to use to make toys for children who have none. Believe it or not I used to hand-made gifts as a child for christmas eve then dress up in a little santa claus outfit to hand them to my favorite relatives.

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