So Painful


Recently I’ve been having quite horrid days

waking up with my mind astray and strange

body broken and frayed

my brain afire and seemingly estranged

I can’t feel much other than pain

and I feel like all I do is complain and complain

a burden on all my family I hate the blame

they never put it on me which makes me insane

just be honest and tell me I’m a pain in the ass

I can’t believe I’m still alive

Living with all this pain is a crime

I feel as if my freedom is gone

where have the last 3 years even gone?


3 thoughts on “So Painful

  1. Feelings of being a burden are the worst. I have had many. I live with it in the back of my mind at all times, but try to suppress it as much as possible. It rears its ugly head at the worst possible moments though. Being blind and feeling like a burden go hand in hand, but then you add on the rest (years of illness and chronic pain) and I feel it as a barrier between every person I love and myself. I hate to hear that anyone else deals with these things. Your family love you, but you can’t deny it. I guess stating it through writing is one way to address any resentment that might exist.

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