My Legacy

greatoutdoors

The outdoors taunts me constantly

separated by a pane of glass

it feels like the great big black morass

I feel stuck in this mud

thick with chronic illness

damnit how’d I get myself into this mess

prior to my illness I was in the best shape of my life

it kills me to see all that muscle and weight lifting go bye bye

these topic cause me to sob and cry

simply because I can’t go outside.

I want to be respected and leave a legacy

finally at least that part of life is working out for me

I just got a few jobs though they’re volunteer you wait and see

Doing good for others will work out for me

and when I’m well I’ll continue my advocacy

though it’ll be a side project unfortuantely

I need to catch up with all these medical bills you see

so I need to find  job that’s salaried and with benefits by the age of 26

when I get thrown off my mother and fathers insurance and turnedoff on my own

I’m so firhgtened of that you don’t even know

I’m too sick to work full time but I need those benefits

so im going to be forced to make my body puch through it

I really am getting sick of this shit

I just want to be normal

to live life anew

I just want my chance

at earning my fortune too.

7 thoughts on “My Legacy

  1. I know about the line between volunteering and a real job is a difficult one. We deserve to be paid like everyone else. Of course with advocacy we aren’t in it for the money because usually we’re doing it thanks to having some personal connection to the cause, but we all have to make a living somehow and feel our worth. It is the ultimate tragedy to me to hear about mounting medical bills. I just wrote a blog post about the ten reasons I love Canada and I did mention that. If all the surgeries, hospital stays, and medicines my brother and I have required over the years were added up I hate to think what the final total cost would be. The pressure that would have put on us as children causing such debt for our parents and our family would have killed us even when our conditions didn’t. I hate that anyone must battle both illness and medical bills.

    • I’ve been battling mounting medical bills at birth with me not digesting proteins and only eating a very expensive formula, then 11 ear myrengotomies to save my hearing, then several sprained and broken limbs, bad teeth and now this portion of my life which has cost probably well over 250,000 after insurance pays some of it

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