I am so very confused right now as to what to do. You see yesterday I ate a late Lunch with my fiance Venus and we both fell asleep watching netflix in my bed. By the time we awoke it was nearly 11PM and I woke up feeling very sick asking for the garbage can to be brought near the bed. I continued on to vomit three times, and was barely able to move some parts of my body. It was embarrassing I hate episodes like that yet another moment of weakness and failure to be normal at all in front of my fiance. All I long for is the chance to live a normal life.
In fact last night things got so bad my mother a registered nurse as many of you know offered to take me to the emergency room or ER for short. Knowing all the idiots setting off illegal pyrotechnics would be injured I stayed far away from that ER where the drunken fools would be yelling in agony due to their own idiocy. So I just sat there the whole night in agony and vomited a further 2 times. Trust me I would’ve woken my Mom up and gone to the ER but my level of anger was way too high from all the firework noise. So much so that if seated next to someone injured by a firework I’d probably start yelling at them about how I need to be in the ER and how they put themselves there, the same goes for people who drink too much or smoke cigarettes you should be treated as second class citizens in the ER especially if you grew up knowing the dangers and still went ahead and trashed your body. That isn’t my fault, the doctors fault, or a nurses fault so why should any of us suffer for you to get care?
I know that sounds mean and self-serving but at some point a line needs to be drawn and since I live in an overpopulated area I’ve drawn that line between those who deserve care in my opinion, and those who should be left to their own devices, to die if need be because they cost the taxpayers money. Nobody that gets cancer from tobacco should be allowed disability or workers comp for throat cancer and the same goes for people who drink and liver issues. They chose to kill themselves. I did not I was diagnosed randomly with a 1 in 1.5 million disease that’s incurable unlike their stupid cancer. Yep that’s right the assholes who trash their bodies have better chances at life than a Churg-Strauss Syndrome patient like me. However I believe they should be treated IF they were a part of the older generation that was told Cigarettes were healthy and that marijuana is the “devil”.
I may go in to the emergency room today to hopefully be admitted and get some pain relief if that’s even possible anymore. I mean last time I had morphine every 6 hours and it wasn’t helping a damn bit. The only anti-emetic that seems to work is Kytril but somehow today I am vomiting through both that and liquid ativan which absolutely sucks. I despise my life right now it’s te perfect weather for a ride to the park and to sit nd write yet I feel too damn shitty to get off my ass and go outside with my fiance. How ridiculous is that? I have the love of my life here yet I feel too shitty to go out with her and enjoy our time together this weekend. Sorry for the depressing article but I had to get this out because I am just sick of people who don’t need it being in the hospital STOP PUTTING YOURSELVES IN HARMS WAY fireworks, alcohol, and tobacco are for the weak minded who can’t find the simple joys in life without a buzz. If you are that dull then you might as well go ahead and put that poison into your body just don’t use taxpayer money to sort yourself out go die on a street corner somewhere along with the politicians who legalize this crap for Americans to take in to their bodies.
I used to drink and smoke myself, though I’d never fully inhale it I just did it to get closer to my now fiance who doesn’t smoke I’m now proud to say. Then I took a few health classes and got into bodybuilding and soon asked myself why I needed a buzz to enjoy life. What’s the big thrill about overloading your body so much with toxins that you feel odd? Exactly there is no point, and when you factor in that it’s slowly killing you then what? What do you do when you’re going through that slow painful death are you going to still embrace your old habits or curse them for putting you in that position? DOn’t curse the products curse yourself for being stupid enough not to stop when you had the chance. I drank for 3 years of my life and it was fun but I’ll never have a gulp of beer or hard liquor again. Perhaps wine if I get my migraines to go away for my heart but that would be it a glass of red wine a night. People need to start thinking more about their bodies and less about working so they can live a bit longer. Sadly for me even though I took care of myself I’ve been screwed by nature and will likely die early either way.