So Many Tears

cry

Ive cried so many painful tears
over these past 3 years
my pain and brain are agonizing
my body is terrorizing itself
autoimmune diseases suck because you attack yourself
so what do you do to prevent this assault
I suppose you take drugs and continue to suffer like us all
why repurposed drugs, we need ones catered to our conditions
in this day and age I cant stand being in this position
with all the new technology available to me
I cant understand the medical fields disability to keep me up on my feet
I feel like a lab rat an experiment to be tested on
and that’s all these disease have really made me become
I do dangerous drugs and procedures hoping anything will help
who cares anyways I only have 15 years and counting to get it
it just seems that whatever illness this is I severely regret getting it
what can I do but continually get hit metaphorically y the Churg Strauss vasculitis
from what the doctors tell me it’ll hit me til the day I die though
which is a daunting though all unto itself
then to add neuropathy, daily chronic migraines, and cluster headaches to my shelf of illnesses
these things are starting to stack up I don’t know how i’ll deal with the pain
should I get stuck in one more damn rut!

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