Today I awoke feeling miserable hence the late post so my apologies for that. You all know I have the best intentions and fight my own body to post regardless of what happens to me each and every day. Today the sprain in my back caused it to be too painful to sit up for several hours making it impossible for me to contort my body enough to reach my laptop which was charging my just behind the side of our couch. I am however pleased that I got a good phone call and a date for when I’ll be going to John’s Hopkins Hospital, I couldn’t have asked for any better news bedsides perhaps for a sooner appointment, our original date stands now since it’s so close, I just wish I could get there ASAP like any other patient in my situation but understandably that isn’t possible.
I wanted to talk about when depression is ok, to talk about how in situations it can be completely normal along with tons of anxiety.There’s nothing wrong with sitting down and crying every once in a while when the going gets rough or just to talk to somebody else. Sometimes you need that as an average human being but as a spoonie or someone with chronic illness. We also need to discuss when it’s time to see a psychiatrist for medication because your symptoms aren’t normal. I hope you all enjoy the article hang on it’ll be a wild ride!
Let’s discuss when it’s perfectly normal not to be in the right mindset, when biofeedback and medication may not solve all your problems. Many of us spoonies are used to this and some of us do already express our emotions as I’ve spoken about many times whether that be through writing, painting, model building, collecting, or making amateur jewelry. We all do something to negate these powerful feelings and as I’ve spoken about prior to this article that aspect of your life is absolutely crucial. It’s absolutely important that you don’t let your mind be abused by these tormenting feelings/emotions and that you fight back by occupying your mind, heck even lying down to some music or reading a few chapters of a book is plenty to take your mind off of your situation.
So lets talk about a few situations when it’s perfectly normal to feel depressed or sad. I’ll put it in the form of a list to make this easier to read so that everything isn’t a block of text:
- When first diagnosed with a new illness
- When you’ve failed a treatment
- If being told you need surgery or more surgery/procedures
- Whilst being told you have a terminal illness and I’m sure for days or weeks after
- After not having seen new people or old friends for weeks or even months
- When feeling like your own medical needs are being ignored
- When treatment slows down and nobody seems to know what to do
I can personally relate to all of those situations and I’ll be completely honest shortly after I was told I was terminal I got violent and wanted to be by myself at home. Everyone was so afraid I’d kill myself they called the police on me and had me brought to a psych unit for a few hours. It was a terrible experience, but what I learned from the psychologist there is that what I was feeling was completely normal it’s just a matter of police proper procedure that I was forced to be brought into the psych ward. After that I felt a lot more normal because why should someone know or be prepared to react to the news of terminal illness after all this isn’t something we all deal with or even that a ¼ of the population ever deals with it’s a very rare life event fortunately. I was just the unfortunate person to experience it though I cannot say the illness has been all bad as it has turned me into a much more kind and accepting human being who is willing to help anyone in need so long as they appreciate it. There are several situations in which you might feel terrible which I listed above, and I’m sure there are some I’ve inevitably missed, I just want my readers to know that during these times I am there for them and willing to lend my ear or offer non-medical advice from my own experiences.
I really appreciate all the support I continue to get from my friends as well as readers, family, strangers, and even doctors/medical professional who want to help out. It really fuels my fire so to say and allows me the energy to continue on regardless of how much strength I might have. Yes some days I still fail to manage to write, or be active at all. Sometimes nowadays I no longer touch my laptop for example I cut out weekends for recreation and to work on my books. I find writing to be the ultimate in relaxation with poetry being a favorite of mine in particular. I certainly plan on getting a few new poems out soon. I wanted to release one yesterday but lately sheer pain from my recent fall has kept me from doing a lot.
Lastly though I’ve been reminded that Migraine Discussions has now been running for a full year with articles by me sometimes several almost every single day. Thank you all for reading and for taking interest in my blog. This is a big achievement for me it’s the longest job I’ve ever held due to always being fired for my migraines from summer jobs as a kid. Soon I will reveal the name of my new website and then release the new site as it’s almost ready with new features for you all to use and a far more professional look. Thank you all for reading and being with me for the 1 year anniversary of migraine discussions! Look out for a poem and perhaps a video later in the day!