This painful cluster/migraine combo is sprinting through my veins quicker than Usain Bolt
It makes me convulse and hit my head against the wall because it feels like Zeus is throwing thunder balls
At my brain and neck no wonder I feel so beat up every day in every which way I can’t even think
I am being attacked in every way by this autoimmune disease, daily chronic migraine, and cluster headaches which are unrelenting
I wish I could breathe, I need more energy to fight lately I’ve released nothing and that isn’t alight! I need to finish what I started and write!
It makes me seethe with rage when I miss a day of writing
Because all it means is I couldn’t even do that much typing or thinking that day
I don’t have many responsibilities in life but this one I take seriously
And honestly lately it’s been embarrassing making excuses they’re all true but it hurts nonetheless
I don’t know what to do anymore to address my undying desire to get a job and be normal and financially sound as a fortress
It seems as though I am going to be in financial trouble though
And I hope I’m not forced to take government assistance
That would ruin my drive and spirit of outgoingness
So what am I do to clean up this mess? how do I decide how to progress?
With the little bit of energy that I have left; I feel so much stress, so much depression, so much anger!
Damn these medications I never know whether my thoughts are me or them
Or if my depression is being caused by my disease often I feel as if I am lost at sea!
So I ask my readers to please help me and not be impatient, when I can’t write let it be
When you bombard me with emails asking why I am not writing
it only makes me feel like even more of a failure and then it’s even harder to pick up pen and paper
So please if you’re a true fan just stick to the poems I write for you here and now
I will work on article for this and several more for my job
This week I will work like a damn beast regardless of how I feel or whether I eat
I will stay up late into the night at the conference and drink caffeine like a fiend
I will get a bunch of articles done and if possible live tweet the whole conference
For all my follower on twitter who love the latest new this poem is mainly for you
I will also be making videos, audio clips, and having some guests over too if I am feeling well enough to do it
From what I see this conference is going to be educational and then a real joy at night with a lively
Crowd Ka-Boom! I love it people I know from around the state here to hang out and who share
At least one of my rarer disabilities so that is pretty awesome to me to be able to meet up
And hang out like a group is what I plan to do indeed! Thank yo to the Cluster Busters especially Bob Wold, Cindy Reynolds, Lee Markins and the rest of CB!
Please donate today to either the ClusterBusters or the Migraine Research Foundation both are worthy causes! I prefer you donate through this link so we can track how much we’ve helped out! It only costs $10 thats a trip to the movies people you can give that up for the future for your or a loved ones illness!