Hi folks I wrote this little poem a few days ago but felt too sick to release it. I want to ask for all your thoughts as today we drive to Johns Hopkins to see one of the world’s leading Vasculitis experts. We will be visiting Dr. Philip Seo head of the Vasculitis unit at Johns Hopkins and a man who I have confidence with some extra attention to my case can save my life. I am cautiously optimistic right now though I’ve been reeling in pain the past few weeks. I miss writing every day so expect a few review articles and/or videos sometimes soon and some more poetry. I apologize to all whom I might have disappointed with my slow progress but life is like a real roller coaster when you have a chronic illness and I put my health before my writing at this point since I do have a good chance to live.
I truly miss writing for you all and this is a very heartfelt poem so please enjoy it and pass it along to anyone else who might feel similar so they know they’re never alone.
Goodbye my friends, goodbye my friends
it’s time for me to think about dying again
this pain is just too much in my abdomen
and I’ve lost 30 pounds i’ll never get back again.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t dream without crying
I think its time to die with dignity
rather than make my whole family work a 7 day week
always having me to take care of that shits weak.
I just want to die, yes I’ll cry
but in the end i’ll finally die with dignity
the same courtesy we give dogs you see
if I was any animal the farmer would put a shotgun to me
so please oh please let me be.
I don’t know when or how ill get there but
I’m going to Vermont to do this deed
don’t know if i’ll succeed but all I want is to die with some dignity.