Hello everyone and a Happy New Year, luckily my fiancé was over and I was able to give her the traditional kiss at midnight she deserves! She did so much for me in 2014 it was amazing she is my second best caregiver after my mother and mom is a registered nurse so that’s kind of daunting standards to meet. She’s learned so much from my pain, about invisible illness, and about her own field of psychology through my agony. I can sincerely say she will help a whole lot of people suffering chronic pain one day as a therapist, just as my own psychologist Dawn Buse does. It’s wonderful and benevolent work that’s completely respectable and normal, don’t think there’s something wrong with anyone who see’s a psychologist please they don’t need that stigma attached to their anxiety about it naturally. Anyways the point of this article is to ring in the New Year, and I did it in fashion let me tell you!
I awoke to gasping for breath at about 3:30AM this morning and naturally tried to lay down again. After about thirty minutes a pain built up in my entire body- all my joints, muscles, nerves, skin, just everything was on fire and I began sobbing like a baby from the pain. I didn’t want to scream out in anger in fear of waking my fiancé but she’d been startled already and was shaking me asking what was wrong. I couldn’t answer my jaw was locked so tight; I suppose a physical manifestation of my mental battle against the pain. Eventually I got the raspy words out “too….much…pain” through tears and gritted teeth. She asked me what I wanted her to do but I didn’t know how to get to my medicine I needed to get downstairs to my O2 concentrator/nasal cannula and painkillers immediately then put some lotion on my joints and a heating pad on my neck. The question was how do we get my weak 255lb frame down the stairs with only my fiancés help at 4AM?
Luckily Venus knew how badly I needed medication and she went to the next room and awoke my brother, a kind tall fellow. He can lift me since he’s 6’ 7” and weighs a little more but has lots of muscle naturally. I held tightly onto his shoulders and Venus supported me from behind as we slowly descended the stairs to my walker which I was also too weak to use. So my loving fiancé told me to sit down(my walker has a small seat) and rolled me to the back room where you always see pictures of me typically sitting on the recliner couch. She got me all set up once I was down here with oxycodone 45mg for the pain and a cold drink for my stomach since I’d vomited just before coming down the stairs. She also got me my nasal cannula and got the O2 concentrator going as well. Who could ask for a better partner in a bad situation? And she didn’t once even dare complain about the time or let me think it was a bother to her. She just woke right up and did what caregivers do best. I can’t thank her enough so I wanted to release this article to show how crappy my situation has been consistently and to thank her in public in a more permanent way.
Now as you can see I am typing away which must mean I am somewhat better than before when I was sobbing in pain. I am not pleased with this start to the New Year but I have been reassured once again I chose the right woman to help take care of me in sickness and in health. Even though I am still at an 8 out of 10 in pain I am so thankful to have Venus for 2015 that’s a blessing and a healthy family. I’ve decided my resolution for 2015 is to be less depressed and anxious to fight these emotions with even more vigor in this New Year! So a Happy New Year to you all, I hope everyone celebrated in an enjoyable and safe way this New Years Eve! Thank you for reading and a happy holiday to you spend it with the ones you love.