It seems taking care of others has taken priority over me and all people want to do is read about how sick you can possibly be without commenting, offering to send cards, donations, or a cup of coffee my way after all I do is write day after day until it hurts that’s why I’m so weaker every day because I used all my extra spoons typing away books, eBooks, special projects, and social media too yea you all expect it so that’s what I do.I feel so detached from my audience but what can I do write to but write for them and hope they listen, they rarely do.Even in times of my times of crisis I only hear from 3 maybe 5 readers that aren’t family members or personal friends, how sad is that it makes me shiver. 4300 silent readers… All missing out on my writing which often flows like a river. But I feel like a fire that someone’s poured a bucket of water on Now I’m a cinder I just hope you remember what I wrote before I passed.
I’m going to Mayo Clinic in Rochester next week this isn’t a joke, we’re not doing this half-assed. John’s Hopkins Vasculitis Center couldn’t help me so we’re taking the only step above them, that was a real task! Thank you mom and dad for getting me an appointment and a.s.a.p. because it’s needed or else I’ll be dead in a moment. The plan is to go to the Mayo Clinic and get all of my tests and blood work re-done. To find something else wrong or treat more aggressively the battle we have not yet won. I’ve been very resistant to chemotherapy and I need to hit remission so I can live till much later than until this hits my organs it’s only a matter of time and I need these doctors to make some sort of find. Not only that but why the loss of the use of my legs they’re paralyzed for the most part that’s traumatizing and grey. It makes me depressed, not gay to
Be using a commode and to be stuck in a wheelchair living in a room that isn’t truly my own. I feel like this pain is going to drive me insane for the first time I mean that my memory is going quickly again and I’ve started no new medications that’s what scares me folks. It’s always a new symptom with little old me isn’t it thought?