4 Years of Agony and Counting

The_Agony_Of_A_Man__s_Heart_02_by_Shinstra

I’m in severe agony

My illness is no longer invisible

It’s put there for everyone to see

That’s quite embarrassing to me

Being stared at everyone eyeballing the guy in the wheelchair

I can’t help but feel some sense of loss and despair!

 

This isn’t fair

But they say life isn’t fair

even to good people who are always there

Advocating for free not even plane or cab fare

We do this for the good of humanity

Not for our own sanity

Being an advocate is very stressful

Suicidal people are always miserable

Calling on you to solve problems unrelated to chronic illness

At times I wasn’t sure I could do this

I just didn’t have faith in my own strength.

 

I am a gladiator amongst mere mortals

I will slay my diagnoses to shreds for my readers

I’d do anything for my chronic illness family they’re believers

They’re the ones who can relate to at least some of my pain

But when people ask me what is really wrong it’s hard to say

I will leave Mayo with 2-5 new diagnoses to take away

And none will be easy at least that’s what people say

I believe them but they don’t have the drive I do

Just to wake up every day and feel like absolute poo

I think after 4 years of misery for some help I am due!

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