The Shrapnel Inside

the_pain_inside_by_vladiks

He who sits with shrapnel inside desires more and mourns

Some doctors think it’s merely a pity party so they pop some popcorn

We all know that’s no way to find optimism so lets drop the act and move on

For that one really deserves some amount of scorn

For he doesn’t treasure or value what he has no more

What little it may be, who cares if one’s poor you’re rich in health

That’s a little bit troubling to me that some people don’t realize that’s true wealth!

Folks complain because they don’t have the iPhone 6 upon release

Or fans of Apple who for that iWatch look like hungry dogs set off their leash

Or gamer camping out en masse for the latest game like it’s free gold for release

Only to buy valuable but first generation flawed gaming consoles

Complain about $10 an album on iTunes likes it’s a complicated debacle

Then they go spend $8 to get cigarettes just to end up in the hospital

Yea lung cancer isn’t a great way to go, and for some it’s optional

I wish my death sentence had been optional

But they couldn’t tell me where it came from

How I got it, or whether it was treatable

The one thing they did tell me could be done

Is I could very well see remission soon

My Vasculitis, could be done with, kaput, gone, boom!

I no longer care about material possessions only about my relaxation sessions

I only care about my family, my dog, and my health’s progression

Other than that I couldn’t have a care in the world

Bills, taxes, & writing the stress doesn’t phase me at all

Sometimes I feel like I have the world by the balls

And sometimes I feel like I have nothing at all

Almost subhuman I guess I should run away to the mall

Cross the street start sleeping in the woods until one morning

An officer tells my scruffy ass to get on my way and leaves me with a warning

He can’t see my invisible illness all he sees me is using a wheelchair as a cushion

“I can’t walk sir this is not an illusion” I pray my illness isn’t a foregone conclusion!

I wish people would  just listen I can’t walk ok

I took 2 steps with immense help and 2 spotters HURRAY!

Please lets not all get ready to break out champagne

today because as soon as it happened I’m weakened again

and the vasculitis rashes are bleeding like Niagara Falls

I wish kidding but I have tissue, towels, t-shirts stained with blood & all

You probably think I’m insane telling you tell but I’m in so much pain

If you were me you’d crunch under the pressure of pain and slit a vein

I’m here to confront the issue with words and see what you all think

When I don’t get any replies or traffic my heart sinks

And when nobody want to help or volunteer with you life kinks

But it can be unraveled one problem at a time according to life’s links.

But hey you can’t get in a slump you got to be the next best thing

Ready to surprise this world like a crashed alien being

Idea’s flow through my mind like water through a sink

So I try to slow them down like the water in an ice rink

At this point I feel like a quill that’s been left in old ink

A brush left tragically in a palette old watercolor paint

After typing all this heart’s beating so fast I’m about to faint.

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